I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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