looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
