I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
