You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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