We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
