woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
