I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
