i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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