i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
