I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
