My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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