HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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