I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
