Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
