Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sundayâ€
Randomize
