I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We are all done wearing pants today
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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