Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
