Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
