I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
