I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Randomize
