Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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