Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
