and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The air was thick with penises
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
