guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
