Do vagina's smell?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
