sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
