He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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