he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
