I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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