You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
