you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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