K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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