I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
