I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
