If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
