47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
