Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
