i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
