I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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