I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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