Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
