i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
