Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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