I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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