He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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