If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
