On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
