and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
