We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
