The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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